Contact Is King: When Contact Stops, the Clock Starts

Staying emotionally calm and avoiding knee-jerk reactions is essential — it helps de-escalate conflict and shows maturity. But when contact with your child is stopped, the clock starts ticking.

If contact is broken for 4 weeks or more and you do nothing, a new precedent starts to be set. Family courts may begin to view the “new normal” as acceptable, unless you act quickly and reasonably to show that maintaining contact matters to you.

But Be Careful — There’s a Fine Line

There’s a fine line between making every effort to stay involved and coming across as:

• Controlling

• Aggressive

• Stalking or harassing

  
  

The key is to document calmly, act through the correct legal channels, and avoid emotional confrontation.

If you're unsure, get advice, acting with good intentions can still work against you if it’s misinterpreted.

Where to begin?

Step One: Mediation

Before going to court, you must attend a MIAM (Mediation Information & Assessment Meeting). This is the first formal step — and the court will expect it unless you’re exempt.

• Shows you’re acting responsibly

• Opens a chance to resolve things without a hearing

• Officially records the breakdown in contact

You cannot apply to court for a Child Arrangements Order (or other private law family matters) without first attending a MIAM — a Mediation Information and Assessment Meeting. A MIAM certificate is required to show that mediation has either been attempted or is not suitable.

This step is mandatory.

Act Now — Time Matters

Don’t wait for things to “settle down.” If contact has stopped, act within weeks, not months. The longer you wait, the harder & longer it will take to re-establish regular parenting time.