More Than a Visitor: How to Show You're a Hands-On Dad

When fathers prepare for family court, the focus often zeroes in on the hearing, court dates, applications, bundles, statements. And while those things matter, here’s the truth most dads don’t realise:

The battle for your role as an equal parent is often won or lost long before you ever step into the courtroom.

What happens day-to-day matters. Courts, and CAFCASS in particular, aren’t just looking at what you say. They’re looking at what you do.

Do You Know Your Child's Life?

If you want to be seen as a hands-on, equal parent, ask yourself:

• Who are your child’s teachers? Have you attended parent-teacher meetings?

• When’s their next school play or sports day? Do you plan to go?

• Do you know who their best friend is? What hobbies they’re into?

• Have you helped with homework, reading, or bedtime routines?

  
  

Being involved isn’t about grand gestures — it’s about showing you're present, consistent, and tuned in to your child’s world.

Small Things Speak Loudly

CAFCASS officers may visit your home to assess both the environment and the quality of the parent-child relationship. And while some of it might sound clichéd, the truth is: the little things they see can say a lot.

They’re not just looking for safety — they’re looking for signs that your child is truly part of your daily life.

Here are a few small, powerful indicators that can make a difference:

• Children’s drawings, photos, or school artwork displayed on the walls or fridge

• A bowl of fruit or other signs of day-to-day care and routine

• School calendars or timetables pinned up as part of family planning

• Photos of your child’s sports achievements, certificates, or medals displayed proudly

• A visible bookshelf, tidy bedding, or a space clearly used by your child

• Reminders of upcoming school events (sports day, assemblies, parents’ evenings)

  
  

Your home should reflect that your child is truly part of your life, not an occasional visitor.

Official Involvement Counts Too

Are you listed as:

• The next of kin at the doctor’s office?

• An emergency contact for school?

• A participant in after-school activities, weekend clubs, or regular routines?

  
  

Get yourself involved on paper and in practice. Courts look for evidence of parental responsibility.

Credibility Is Built, Not Claimed

You can’t just say “I want 50/50” and expect the court to grant it. You have to show you're already living like an equal parent.

Be there. Know the details. Show the court and your child that you're a stable, safe, loving, and reliable parent.

It’s not about being perfect. It’s about being genuinely present.